I absolutely love my life and the people that are in it!
Never doubt that with anything I write. But (and I feel this is a big ugly selfish but!) but….. sometimes, I have these ‘wants‘ and that doesn’t mean I’m not happy or you’re not happy.. but I do wonder – what does it mean?
I feel so selfish in having these because I feel I should be happy with what I have got – and I am. I have pure raw love for my babies and they are the most precious things that I have in this world. I have a lovely home and a man who provides for us.
SO WHY DO I WANT MORE!!!
I’m going to list what I want so you can see how selfish I am.
To feel beautiful
Now they are in no order, but a little bit of each would be preferred! Am I having some
Sort of midlife crisis? – I really don’t have he time for that nor the money! Ha.. Or do you think we sacrifice these when we become a Mum?
I don’t know, I’m just putting it out there in the massive hole of internet/webby space!
If anyone knows, please shed some light!
The Perfect Wannabe!
I fell into the trap! the ‘have children and its time to not bother about yourself’ trap. When I had my first born I was going through yet another shit stage in my life.. BUT I had a beautiful baby! What I learnt over the years and after having two more children is that we CAN still look after ourselves!
I wore the same clothes day in and day out (they were clean I promise) I have always been house proud and always have a wash on so I could never entertain wearing dirty clothes, but what I did start ‘entertaining’ was the shit hair look, the worn out clothes, wearing trainers ALL the time, no make up, just not giving a flying fuck what I looked like! Its like I had attracted the ‘mate’, ‘mated’ and had my children which was my purpose in life – wasn’t it? NO, my purpose was to fall in love, have children and live happily every after looking like Cinderella 24/7 – wrong!!
Well I got some of it right… I’m never going to look like Cinders but I can try and I can do it because I want to make MYSELF look and feel good. Not for a man, so my children can see the value of self worth, so they can love themselves, looking good is feeling good. I want compliments – is that wrong? I was looking for some praise once and I was once told that I was ‘not a puppy dog’, that hurt, surely we all need praise to a degree? it keeps my moving forward at times and its a good show of appreciation too! We all want that ‘wanted’ feeling – don’t we?
So next time you are feeling crap and look at yourself in the mirror, try to show some love to that reflection cos no other fucker will unless of course you have an amazingly tentative, sensitive partner! We are all trying to find this ‘perfect thing’ that we over look what is actually right in front of us and extremely beautiful. YOU.
The Perfect Wannabe