A little bit of random…

So as I am new to all of this, I thought I should share some of my ‘quirks’ or annoyances’ so you get to know me as a ‘blogger’… I am emotional!

I’m 34 and I have noticed with age brings emotion. I haven’t really been an overly emotional person. I had a lot of bad shit happen in my early life and I learnt well how to keep things in and not talk.

I made myself realise that actually its good to talk, talking is a healer for me, it hurts but it gets it out and that is good!.. but over the past few years I get so overwhelmed, whether it be from a fond memory, a beautiful song or maybe just a situation where I can feel pure love from my children. I think now that I am older, I can see the truth out there, the natural beauty and innocence rather than fake shit which is meaningless and soulless.

I am a true blue scorpion, I love hard, I am a deep person but once you fuck with me and hurt me, it takes a very special person to have a second chance, only two people have ever hurt me and I mean hurt me, I chose to do what I would never have naturally done and that was to let them back into my life because I loved them – ┬áit was worth it. There are many others that got ‘fucked off’ over the years and yes I miss them but they hurt me way too much to ‘let it go’… I think it shows a lot about your character too, don’t let yourself be a walk over, if you let people treat you like shit I think that you need to be prepared that they may take advantage of that..

A couple of years back I made a New Years resolution to start saying ‘No’… I was fed up of being polite! Not in a ‘manners’ way but in a way where I felt i had to say yes just because I didn’t want to hurt someones feelings – I have feelings don’t I? or do I have to forgo my feelings in order to protect that persons feelings? for example… a friend giving me some old clothes for my youngest. I looked at these clothes and I didn’t want them, I just didn’t fucking want them!!! BUT what do you do in this situation? do you politely say ‘Thank you’ and take them to the nearest charity shop or do you say ‘No thank you, lovely offer and all that, but no thank you’… and there it is – the word ‘NO’….people do not like it, they take offence to it.. I cannot begin to tell you how much this annoys me, RESPECT my ‘NO’. If you say this word, all of a sudden you are an ungrateful bitch or a snob! I fully admit I can be a snob! but because I said ‘NO’ it made me an ungrateful bitch – amazing isn’t it!! My Emet and OCD do play a part sometimes┬áin why I may not want to take something else that was previously owned but nonetheless my ‘No’ is a No and to those people that ignore that, please start listening, please!

Much Love,

The Perfect Wannabe

 

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