A little bit of random…

So as I am new to all of this, I thought I should share some of my ‘quirks’ or annoyances’ so you get to know me as a ‘blogger’… I am emotional!

I’m 34 and I have noticed with age brings emotion. I haven’t really been an overly emotional person. I had a lot of bad shit happen in my early life and I learnt well how to keep things in and not talk.

I made myself realise that actually its good to talk, talking is a healer for me, it hurts but it gets it out and that is good!.. but over the past few years I get so overwhelmed, whether it be from a fond memory, a beautiful song or maybe just a situation where I can feel pure love from my children. I think now that I am older, I can see the truth out there, the natural beauty and innocence rather than fake shit which is meaningless and soulless.

I am a true blue scorpion, I love hard, I am a deep person but once you fuck with me and hurt me, it takes a very special person to have a second chance, only two people have ever hurt me and I mean hurt me, I chose to do what I would never have naturally done and that was to let them back into my life because I loved them –  it was worth it. There are many others that got ‘fucked off’ over the years and yes I miss them but they hurt me way too much to ‘let it go’… I think it shows a lot about your character too, don’t let yourself be a walk over, if you let people treat you like shit I think that you need to be prepared that they may take advantage of that..

A couple of years back I made a New Years resolution to start saying ‘No’… I was fed up of being polite! Not in a ‘manners’ way but in a way where I felt i had to say yes just because I didn’t want to hurt someones feelings – I have feelings don’t I? or do I have to forgo my feelings in order to protect that persons feelings? for example… a friend giving me some old clothes for my youngest. I looked at these clothes and I didn’t want them, I just didn’t fucking want them!!! BUT what do you do in this situation? do you politely say ‘Thank you’ and take them to the nearest charity shop or do you say ‘No thank you, lovely offer and all that, but no thank you’… and there it is – the word ‘NO’….people do not like it, they take offence to it.. I cannot begin to tell you how much this annoys me, RESPECT my ‘NO’. If you say this word, all of a sudden you are an ungrateful bitch or a snob! I fully admit I can be a snob! but because I said ‘NO’ it made me an ungrateful bitch – amazing isn’t it!! My Emet and OCD do play a part sometimes in why I may not want to take something else that was previously owned but nonetheless my ‘No’ is a No and to those people that ignore that, please start listening, please!

Much Love,

The Perfect Wannabe

 

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Soooo…this is a blog?!

Yes, another crazy bitch jumping on the ‘blog bandwagon’ and I say – why not! Amongst all the other reasons why this is such a great way to communicate and unite you will have to forgive my poor grammar at times, but hey I’m sure we aren’t all perfect….right?

So a bit about me, I’m a Mum to three children, I have a boyfriend – life partner sounds better? I have emetophobia (fear of sick) which is absolutely shit – I have a facebook group for support if you need it, it’s called Emetophobia and being a mum. I also suffer with OCD and anxiety, a skin condition and I am doing my Law degree – oh and I’m EXTREMELY overweight too! but thinking about Slimming world? Not going to lie, it is hard work, balancing home life, children, study, house work, trying to be fucking perfect and stuff! (I think sometimes we feel we are only aloud to say that if you are a full-time worker AND a Mum…) totally not the case… if its hard work then it hard work – end of, no need to have to explain yourself!

I want to connect with you all, all you stressed lovelies, anxious ones, OCD ones, emet ones, skin lurgy ones, hard work or NON hard-working ones, and intellectual ones! Sometimes we need to vent, I get so tense these days and feel like no one listens – ‘hi brick wall, great conversation last night…’ you get it yeh?

Please do not get offended, I don’t do hate but I do like a bitch – I cant help myself, its like a guilty pleasure – but we aren’t on this beautiful earth for long enough to get all snotty about somethings. Some of my blogs wont be for you all..that’s fine.. I just hope that you can read and relate.. to know that you aren’t alone, to have a little chuckle when you are feeling a bit glum – we all need that..

So I’m going to leave this ‘thing’ here, ‘ not quite sure of its journey and how it will get to you all – my ‘life partner’ assures me it will…. I want to do this regulatory so lets give it a go!

Much Love

The perfect Wannabe